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Amy's avatar

I’m 26 and honestly half the time feel like I have no clue what I’m doing, I still live at home with my parents, I’m painfully single, I’m freelance and my money fluctuates SO much, I have some friends getting married, some having babies, many like me not having things figured out… Adulthood is wild and everyone’s experiences are SO different… I try not to compare as much as possible but it’s hard not to. It’s funny though I feel like my Substack is full of people older than me (like 30-45) which I fully love 🤩 no answers or questions just wanted to share 😅💕

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Brooke's avatar

Adulthood is SO wild and there is no definition - everyone experiences it so so differently. Comparing is definitely not the answer. Our Substack algorithms are total opposites, I would love have Substack from people older than me!!! (This is me shouting out to the Substack algorithm 😂). Thank you for sharing ❤️

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Jane Bradbury's avatar

As I just said to @amyloucreates, I'm older than you; almost enough to be your grandmother 🫢In my head I'm stuck at age 37, when I was happiest and also when I got married. I will try not feel way too old to be knocking around your Substacks 😅

"I have replaced the string lights on my first apartment with actual artwork..." What? I only got my LED string lights for the back wall put up a couple of years ago, I have to take them down?? Apparently, since tweaking my webcam position, I now look like an alien receiving signals during my livestreams 🤣🤣

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Brooke's avatar

Thank you for replying! Your comment makes me feel better, knowing that there are women out there enjoying adulthood and also fun twinkle lights!

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Jane Bradbury's avatar

I read you and yes, I'm older than you. In fact, I could almost be your grandmother 🫢

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Amy's avatar

Firstly Thankyou for reading, secondly, I LOVE having such a diverse readership I think it proves that we can all learn from each other because creativity follows us for our entire lives 🥰

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Bianca's avatar

As established I’m also 28😂 And today I played the sims for four hours without blinking, tomorrow I’m going on a road trip with friends, and on Thursday I’m back at my fancy big girl corporate job. I’m an adult and I can buy cake when I want to, but I also have stocks and an investment portfolio. I’m very happy with being the spinster as long as I can do whatever the fuck I want😂 I try not to take things too seriously.

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Brooke's avatar

EXACTLY. ALSO THE SIMS YES VERY MUCH. I discovered how to mod the sims a few months ago and it brought me right back to the sims. 😂

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Bianca's avatar

I love mods😂 But also controlling every aspect of someone’s life👀😅

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Jenny Bruton's avatar

32 and couldn’t agree more 🫶

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Brooke's avatar

💕💕

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Anna Pompilio's avatar

Brooooke, as someone whos on this app and about to turn 30 seeing that you too have writing algorithm’d to you from primarily 23-24 made me feel better! Just like teen/tween/preteen there should be some sort of in-between term 😮‍💨

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Brooke's avatar

I need an in between term 👏 I’m also hoping this algorithm sees my post and sends me more people closer to our age (not that I don’t love the writing of the younger people!)

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Cha's avatar

Hard relate to being an inbetweener! Last weekend I got drunk and went to a gig with my friends, then came home to go through the first look at our wedding photos with my husband. Life is about balance yo 🤷🏾‍♀️

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Brooke's avatar

IDEAL!

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alix's avatar

brooke at 26 i FEEL this heavily!! and i loved it 🦋

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Brooke's avatar

Thank you, Alix ❤️💕❤️💕

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Annie Hendrix's avatar

Dude maybe you just don't relate to bullshit anymore. A lot of those "fun tropes" you listed are marketing niches, not identities. Find YOURSELF.

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Brooke's avatar

Oh man I didn’t even TOUCH on the capitalism aspect of all this. The thing is that you’re right, girlhood has a definite capitalistic element to it, and brands have totally taken the idea and run with it. At the same time, I think we can acknowledge that while also enjoying the sense of confidence (even manufactured, temporary confidence) that these tropes can provide. I think there’s a difference between feeling obligated to buy $500 worth of skincare to maintain Clean Girl status and saying “hot girls take lexapro” to your friends. But it’s definitely something to be cognizant of, especially since the ideal marketing range is younger women who are looking to fit it.

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Diana Sanchez's avatar

As someone within the 19-24 year old age range you mentioned, please do tell me it gets better😭 I need someone other than God and my mother telling me

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Brooke's avatar

I swear that it does!! The ages 19-24 were the hardest of my life. Everything feels so ephemeral and ever-changing. With age comes stability. I’m going through things that are much more difficult than anything I’ve done before, but having age and experience (mixed with the stability of a full time job, home security, etc) makes it easier to deal with. I felt like I was losing my youth when I was 24, but now I’m so excited for 30 because I recognize the stability that comes with age.

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Kinga's avatar

I pushed the "girlhood" for as long as possible. I was 37 and still living in a house share, having a job below my qualifications and potential, my love life was an absolute hot mess and I had the most wonderful summer of all girl things, using redundancy money to splash out on a ridiculous amazing holiday. After that summer I thought to myself - enough. My little sister had already been married for a while and expecting her first baby, and I was just still trying to learn contouring from youtube videos. Something clicked in my head and I just sorted myself out. That whole mess just wasn't so cute at 37. I decided to start dating seriously, and in November that year I met my now husband. I now have a big girl job, he has a big boy job, we have 2.5 year old. We went to a very official work-do last weekend, and hearing him introduce me 'this is my wife, Kinga' 30 times at least was kind of mind blowing. In half a year I will turn 43 and I seem to have gone from girlhood straight into middle age. I have no idea who I am at all. I was someone else for so long that honestly this recent turn of events shocked everyone, not just me. I feel like I'm cosplaying as a wife and a mother.

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Marissa Phillips's avatar

I'm 38 and I recently quit my corporate job in an effort to change the direction of my life. I was on a very stable, promising career path but it felt a little suffocating and I yearned for some more unpredictability. I feel a bit lost again, trying to find my way in the world of freelancing, but it's also sort of freeing to be older but breaking the imaginary rules of what a 38-year-old should be. I'm married but don't have kids. We're financially stable but we rent because we don't want the stresses of owning a house. My life actually seems to upset a lot of people since I don't fit neatly into a womanhood subtype, and I haven't achieved all the "adult" milestones. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can do all the "adult" things, but you can also throw them all out the window if you want. To me, being an adult is just paying your bills on time and trying to be a good human—I refuse to take on any other burdens or expectations from society. I hope that made sense!

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Aliena's avatar

I’m also pushing 30 but I feel like mentally I’m 22. Even in my early 20s, I hated the idea of being compartmentalized in boxes so I was never exactly an “it girl”. All the stuff I would do was cool only a few years later, never when I was actually doing them. And I definitely see the younger girls on here following certain trends or articulating that I can’t relate to or have grown past, but I’m certain it’s just a phase for them and they’ll be equally confused at our ages looking at those younger than them. And so the cycle continues 🥲

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Sep 23
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Brooke's avatar

You can be whatever you want to be, whether that’s finding comfort in a trope or creating yourself!

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